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Dr. Duck's Ducktionary
(a guide to duck blind language)
by Johnny "Dr. Duck" Everhart

ALABAMA SHORTNECK - a crow; also known as a Betty

ALL ROMANTIC SHOTGUN - a gun that shoots several times before reloading

BLACK & WHITE HUNT - hunting on a cloudy day.

BLIND - a place to conceal hunters, an observation hut for ducks, or a place to eat GADUNKS.

BLIND CAPTAIN - someone elected at the beginning of a hunt to call the shots (usually impeached by mid-morning).

BODY CONDOM - chest waders

BUZZ BOMBS - teal

CALL PITCH ADJUSTMENT - changing the pitch of a friend's duck call by taking in one hand, drawing back and pitching it as far as you can throw.

CODMOLLY - anything that causes a hunter to miss a duck, such as "I got a codmolly in my eye!" or "A codmolly was on my front sight!" ... works every time!

CONFIDENCE DECOY - any decoy that ducks are accustom to, from coots to cows (note: carrying three dozen cow decoys can cause a hernia)

DARK GEESE - Canada Geese

DEKES - object's used to attract ducks, anything from jugs to rags and wood to plastic ... just so it ain't alive!

DOWN VEST - worn by hunters, at great expense to keep warm. Also worn by ducks and geese at no expense.

DUCKHUNTER's RIBEYE - honeybun (submitted by Fowlmouthj@aol.com)

DUCK IN A FLOCK ALL BY HIS SELF - a single incoming duck

DUCK JEWELRY - a band worn by married ducks; also generally missing, by the time it has been retrieved to the blind on one-legged ducks.

DUCK REFUGEE CAMPS - Conservation Wetland Areas

DUCT TAPE - a tape used to patch everything from waders to a holes in the boat. Can also be an instruction video on calling.

FANNY RIBBON - something you carry to the woods behind the blind that attracts large flocks of ducks to your decoys. Also known as toilet tissue.

FEEDING CHUCKLE - a sound made in a blind by hunters consuming GADUNKS as SHORT ducks pass overhead unnoticed.

GADUNK - anything you take to the blind to eat, such as donuts, candy bars, deer sausage, duck jerky; or something you cook in the blind.

GRAND PASSAGE MIGRATION - something that takes place approximately five times a season and about 30 minutes after leaving the blind.

GU-11 - a seagull

LANDING GEAR - duck or goose feet stuck out just before landing, or the front feet of a hunter when he trips and falls into the marsh.

LIGHT GEESE - Snow Geese

LIVING COLOR HUNT - hunting on a sunny bluebird day.

LONESOME HEN CALL - a sound made by a single duck hunter in a bar at night.

MILLING - what ducks do right before leaving to make you stay three more hours.

ONE ROUND OF RAPID FIRE - a single shot fired from a duck blind.

OPENING DAY - something hunters dream of starting on closing day.

OVER & OVER SHOTGUN - a pump shotgun

PAIR OF SINGLES - two ducks coming in

QUITTING TIME - any time between shooting time and sunset ... depending on how the ducks coopulate.

REDLEGS - northern ducks that are last to show, or a hunter with leaky boots.

REDNECKS - northern hunters brought down by cold weather.

REMINGTON 550 SHOTGUN - a Remington 1100 shotgun that works half the time.

RETRIEVER - a hunter who wades in deep water to fetch birds while his Labrador sits in the blind and eats all his GADUNKS.

SAFETY CHICKENS - great blue heron (see also SHYPOKE)

SHOOTING TIME - varies from 30 minutes before sunrise to sunset ... depending on what the hunter did the night before.

SHORT DUCKS - low flying ducks

SHYPOKE - great blue heron (According to Dave Murphy, this is usually spelled Shite-poke, which is the Southeastern Ozark colloquial name which literally means "bag of ____")

SIGHTSEERS - ducks that circle your blind once just out of shooting range and then leave.

SKYCARP - snow geese

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY - waterfowl on Conservation Wetland Areas

SMILING MALLARD - a shoveler (a duck you must cook long enough to get drunk so you can eat it)

SPREAD - decoys set out in a special arrangement ... as in, "Nice spread, George ... where's the ducks?"

STATE FAIR - a public hunting area

STEEL SHOT - something designed to cripple ducks because of an eagle who swallowed a lead pellet and threw up.

SUCK HOLE - a hole in the timber that seems to suck ducks right out of the sky (submitted by Fowlmouth@aol.com)

SUPER MAG DECOYS - decoys that attract waterfowl from great distance and can also be turned upside down and used as canoes.

SUSIE - a lonesome hen (refer to Lonesome Hen Call)

SWAMP COLLIE - Golden Retriever (submitted by Fowlmouth@aol.com)

TALL DUCKS - high flying ducks

TEASERS - ducks that circle your blind several times just out of shooting range and then leave.

TWICE BARREL SHOOTGUN - a double barrel shotgun

WATER TURKEY - cormorant (also known as Sky Gar and Black Goose)

WRESTLING MATCH - what hunters do with cold and damp BODY CONDUMS one hour before daylight.

 

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